Ever wonder why?

Sometimes you hit a spot along the road and you find yourself sounding like Paul. You're askin' Why do I do what I do when I know what I shouldn't do? Its so stupid. Its honest but stupid. Why is it that we do what we know we shouldn't do? That thought is spellbinding. The struggle can be seemingly paralyzing sometimes. Why when we know what to do and what we should do yet we do something totally against that. When you find yourself at this spot you wonder can I do what I am supposed to do? You will win a few small skirmishes and you get bumrushed and lose a battle. It frustrating. Its true. We're not stupid people. We just sometimes forget who we are in Christ and what we are against and allow ourselves to make choices that don't benefit us physically, spiritually or emotionally.

Maybe we become apathetic? Maybe we are scarred of the pain?

Maybe we are scared to look at ourselves in the mirror objectively and see the real, the dirt and the stains?

Maybe we think that we, on our own, can do it. We don't want to admit that we're not selfsufficient despite our desire to be. I know I don't want to be dependent. That says I'm weak...not strong, right. I'm capable. So I'm told to believe. But that only gets you so far.
I'm a survivor I tell myself. I will come out on top. I will not be dominated. I will not let a situation dictate my attitude and outlook. I refuse to.
I've been in some situations where my own and/or a persons life was possibly in question and there was a team of us. We were a mess. I wasn't going to be a mess. I couldn't. Maybe theres times to be that way and then theres times where its not so good when you're almost like pretending its going to change on its own when you wake up tomorrow. Maybe its a male pride thing. I don't know.

Sometimes it may not even be the case of doing something wrong but not doing as it has been asked of you. Its like when you were little and your parents told you to after you get home from school you need to have your room cleaned,vacuumed and dusted before they get home from work. Well what do you do but you get home from school and think I have plenty of time so you go play some streetball with some buddies. Before you know it is 5:30 and mom gets home at 6. So you race home and run to your room, grab a shovel and start throwing things under your bed and slopping things into your closet. Mom walks in and you think my room is clean just as she asked. Maybe not the way she had in mind but nonetheless its clean. Its kind of like in Deuteronomy 2:24-37 where God instructs clearly the plan of action. Even though the course of action is clear a path of lesser resistance is chosen(v.25-29). They say please be nice to us and we will buy food from you if you allow us to pass through. Verse 24-25 says go engage these people in battle God has given their land into your hands. God has begun to put the terror and fear of you in them. Not that its in opposition of God's will but its just not direct obedience that was instructed. God says I will deliver so now get steppin'. Their actions are in the general direction of what God's will is for them but not in complete and total obedience. How often do we do that? We say(whether in words or actions), "I know God that you told me this but that sounds too hard or crazy so I'll go this direction...still in the direction of your will just not 100% they way you told me to do it." My room will be looking clean just as you told me but not the way that you told me to do it.
We will never know what God has intended for us if we are not able to know him and follow him.

Until Dukey Drops Again....Much Love........

To Africa and Back

Wow its been FOREVER since I have posted on here. I figured it about time to drop something on here about now. So for some of you may know this but a lot has happened since I last posted. I and three others; Porfirio, Jessie and Kiesha spent 5 months in Kenya working with college students

at the University of Nairobi. As you can see by the pictures we spent some time in other places like Christ Academy, a Refugee/Orphanage school. Also we helped with some street kids ministry visited a Salvation Army handicapped high school and others. It was both challening and amazing to have the opprotunity to live there and get to continue to be apart of minstry there and also see other ministries in action throughout that area. When I think about it I consider it almost unreal and a blessing that I have been able to continue to be apart of what God is doing there.

Since coming back I have taken a job at Thomas More Prep-Marian High School in Hays, KS as the Male Resident Dorm Coordinatior. Basically I am the leagal guadian for 36 high school boys and get to work with 6 Resident Advisors who keep the boys in line day in and day out. Yes I some of you may be wondering "wasn't he an RA a few years ago?" You are correct and at this same school 2003-2005. I was not looking at TMP as being a place of possible employment upon my return but I recieved an email about 10 days before we left Kenya saying TMP was hiring and they wanted to know if I was intrested in the position. If I was they would wait on hiring someone. Six days after returning from Kenya I took the position. So far its been real crazy honestly and there have been numerous long days. I am so glad the kids have now arrived though. We have students in the boarding program from Vietnam, Thailand, Korea, Mexico, Nepal, Rwanda, China, Japan, Taiwan, Columbia and America. I am really looking forward to things settling down and bit and the opprotunity to be apart of these students lives.

Until Duke Drops Again......................Much Love..............