Sex Trafficing

I hope this gets your attention. It should.

Until Dukey Drops Again....Much Love






















Please watch - "Constance" by Mr. J. Medeiros




The Sold Project website

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Disintegrated

Am I?
Do I want to be? I don't think so.
What does that mean? Disintegrated?
Integration is the opposite.
Disintegration is "to lose unity or integrity by or as if by breaking into parts."
Am I lacking unity?
Am I broken in to pieces?
Am I scattered?
I once was told Before God uses a man, He first breaks him.
So Am I Disintegrated?
Am I lacking integrity?
In my life?
Am I willing to be broken by God to be used?
I am self-reliant and self-sufficient.
Do I need to be broken because I what I portray and whats true of my life and my heart are not congruent.
Do I dare to be willing to be broken? I don't know.
Do I need to be broken?
Broken of my self-sufficiency?
Broken of my self-reliance? Probably.
If I am broken will it hurt? Probably.
Will my pride be damaged?
Will my self-portrayed picture of who I want to be and who I am be distorted and smashed?
Can it be rebuilt...pieced together again? I hope...I pray so.
Am I willing...I don't know.
I want to be willing.
But am I...

Wander in the Moment...

While in Kenya this last March one of the things we got to do was take the school on their first field trip. We took them to the Bomas of Kenya. Boma in Swahili means home. At the Bomas they have many tribal dances you can watch and then tour homes of the various tribes of Kenya. The kids and adults at the school were so excited. You could smell the excitement in the air among them.
After we arrived at the school we hung around waiting to arrange things for the 225+ that came on the trip. While we were standing around two of the boys came to me and asked for a picture. They are actually the two boys in the back left of the picture. When they lined up the other boys saw what was about to take place many of them came running to get in the picture or in one of their own. As the "mob" grew and I got ready to take the picture an airplane from a nearby airport flew over. Many of the kids LOVE airplanes and want to be pilots. As the plane flew over they all became distracted looking at and pointing at the plane forgetting the chaos around them. I caught them in their excitement and awe pointing and forgetting why they were standing where they were. The were lost in the moment.
It was so much fun to see their excitement as each plane passed. It was these things that we are far more used to that were first time experiences for them that were highlights of their trip.
It made me recall how we often become calloused to things we have seen/experienced before and no longer appreciate them. We miss something. Something amazing. Simple. Incredible. Something awesome that leaves children with their eyes wide open and jaws hanging. I hope that in our life of experiences and new things that we don't forget to stop and appreciate the things that once amazed and value and learn from them.
May we be in awe and in wonder of "the plane in the sky" once again where we forget all that is around us...just for a moment.

Until Dukey Drops Again....Much Love

In the midst...

In the midst of the unknown sometimes there is somethings that are known. Sometimes we just don't know them yet or see them.
In the midst of my personal unknown and what I feel is a real time of searching in my life I took off to Kenya. I hadn't planned on going honestly and felt rather content not going. So I prayed about it and went. Read the previous post for the story.
I went back to work with Christ Academy. Porfirio had been there since the middle of January and Jessie, Jennifer and myself went at the end of Feb to work along side the school and Porfirio. It was a short trip that went fast lasting only three weeks but I believe we made the most of our time there and went away feeling like the trip was longer than three weeks.
We spent the first part of our trip catching up with P, networking and focusing for our time with the school.
The following two weeks we busted our butts to be at the school and do as much ass we possibly could. We went hard. There was so so much.
Over the next few days I will post some pics on here and maybe share a story or two.
For now I'm off to another random job to make a few dollars to get by for today.

Until Dukey Drops Again......Much Love

The Hype...The Hustle

Here is a couple pics of a young moose that was about 10yds from my cabin in January.



Since flipping my Xterra on its top much has changed for me personally. I've gotten caught in the hustle tryin to figure things out and not stopped to post anything on here. I've had many things change from m previous situation but yet have taken much time to stop. To stop and breathe. To stop and listen. To stop and think. Its been trying to sort out the Hype and hustle to make ends meet.
When I last posted I was living in a cabin between Boulder and Marbleton, WY near the New Fork River. It was -10 to -30 degrees most nights and my pipes were frozen in my little cabin. I was forced to take a cooler and go out to a well runoff pipe and collect water that felt like if it slowed it would freeze in order to shower. I would take the 32degree water in and pour it in to my electric skillet to boil it so that I could have some warm water to shower off with. I didn't have a stove and my microwave had just went out during the work week so I didn't have time to go buy a new one. It took 2hrs to boil enough water so that I could clean off a bit and go to bed.
The flow of mice in to the cabin had ceased and I guess the water felt left out to decided to join in. Then I rolled my Xterra and that made life just a bit more challenging. I got done with work the evening of the 22nd and got a plane to Kansas City to make it home for Christmas thanks to my parents offering much assistance with making the arrangements. I drove 20min to a gas station that had wireless so these circumstances made this very inconvenient. I didn't have a TV either...not that a TV would have helped at all but there wasn't lots of extra frills and they were getting less and less.
I was wondering about my time in Wyoming and felt like there were becoming fewer and fewer reasons to stay. I missed being around community with other bothers and sisters of which I had pretty much NONE of. So as I prayed about the struggle I flew to visit my family for Christmas. I was off 3 weeks and had time to prioritize a bit. I was going to go back to Wyoming work if they were working then pack up and move back to Kansas. In the meantime I needed to find a vehicle. God provided and I headed back to Wyoming to work a few days and pack up.
As I left Wyoming I sent an email out to friends and family who have supported and prayed for my as God has opened up opportunities to do ministry here and overseas. I shared a brief story about Christ Academy, a school we served at in Kenya in 2007 and then a bit about the impending changes and said I am flexible. That evening I received a call telling me there was a group in Rock Springs that had been meeting discussing how they could have me come share about Christ Academy again. When they went home and checked their email they found that a few of them had received an email from me opening the opportunity. Feb 8th Jessie Hock, Brady Peters and myself drove to Rock Springs, WY to share at a small church of 40 or so.
I had been praying about going back to Kenya as Porfirio had left on Jan 16th and Jessie and Jennifer Follis were planning on going at the end of Feb. I told only 3 people that I was stepping in faith to go to Kenya. Two of those people were Brady and Jessie the other was at the church we shared at. We got done sharing about the school and I was informed that $584 was given toward the school and $2010 toward me going to Kenya. I could not believe it! I was stunned. Prayer ANSWERED! I called my parents and Porfirio to tell them I was on my way to Kenya.
Four weeks prior I could have told you I was very content with not going to Kenya right now and that I was going to need a miracle to go. I guess I got what I prayed for.
Once again I was looking to return to Kansas because I wanted to remain in community knowing brothers and sisters in Christ, them knowing me and living life together.
I came back to Hays, KS and found myself staying in a spare room(laundry room) on an air mattress. Not exactly in the lap of luxury. I had quit my job in Wyoming and still was searching for something around here. I was again finding community but without a job. A price to pay? I don't know. The hype, the hustle that misses what God has for us is not worth it. To run a race on my own is not why I was created. I was created to live among others, with others and share the journey. The hype, the hustle...its overrated.
When you have lost something or taken away is when you most often realize what you had. I realized this and had to figure out a different way to live because my priorities were not what I want them to be.

Until Dukey Drops Again....Much Love

Keep on Rollin...

On December 20th at 1am I was headed home from work up on the Mesa near Pinedale, WY. I just had hung up from calling Porfirio, a friend of mine in Hays, KS and I was going around a corner. Little did I know that corner would be a challenge, a surprise, and a first for me.
I rolled my '03 Nissan Xterra. It happened so fast. The ditch was steep and my undoing. There was no avoiding it after briefly taking my eyes off the road. I am so thankful God protected me because I know it could've been much worse. I tried to keep it from rolling but couldn't. I hit the far side of the ditch and it shot the nose of the Xterra back in the road. I went on two wheels on both sides then somehow did a 180 and flipped it on to its top. It was around -10 to -15 degrees so I was really glad I was able to crawl out because along with injuries after a while the cold would have started to work on me if I was there long. Praise God that wasn't the case.
The pics are hard to see much of the damage because of the snow and the fact its so bright and the white vehicle. I am really surprised the windshield was still in it when I got to the salvage yard. It was barely hanging on when I rolled it.
I still don't know if its totalled but my professional opinion would say yes its totalled.
Nothing extremely spiritual or deep just grateful for my health and safety and the fact I got to spend Christmas with my parents. Simple.

Anyway thats it for now...

Until Dukey Drops Again...Much Love...

In - n - Out

I was reading an article written by a guy who does some writing for a magazine called RELEVANT and I had somethings jump out that I wanted to share. The one that really jumped out at me was the statement I bolded at the start of the 3^rd italicized paragraph. I’ll share a few thoughts at the conclusion of the article.

You know its often that we go about our day with our mouths spouting about wrecklessly whatever spills out. It can be positive and encouraging, negative, rude, spontaneous, gossip or perhaps truth but words carry great power and influence. Everyone remembers sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me, right? Not sure I ever bought that one. It seems its more of a coping mechanisim than anything. Words still carry great power to change a moment, a day or perhaps a life. Consider the words “Guilty” or “I Do”. Even a coaches half-time speech, just words, can totally change a game and its outcome. Life changing in some cases and powerful direction altering ones at that words can carry great weight. Not only do they sometimes carry a “hammer” they also can be reflective.

And once they are expressed, words not only create—they also reveal. Words are windows for us to see deeper into the heart of the one who is speaking. To quote Matthew’s Gospel: “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34) In Jesus’ case, The Word made flesh gave us a better picture of who God is. We were finally able to plainly see the heart of God in the reality of creation and salvation. Through Jesus we are able to see the unifying theme that God is speaking and establishing the reality of life. The Word created life and sustains life. The Word provides salvation (which is even more life). The Word reveals that within God’s heart is life, life and more life. So, Jesus isn’t kidding when He tells His disciples, “The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the spirit and life” (John 6:63).

But where does that leave us? Since we’ve been created in God’s image with this strange ability to affect the world we live in with what we say, what do our own words reveal about who we are? What do the realities we’re creating disclose about our hearts and our character?

If we want to begin creating realities that bring truth to the world, we’d do well to begin filling ourselves with “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable” (Philippians 4:8). I’m not suggesting this means creating a legalistic set of parameters that ban rated-R movies or controversial music. But we should be aware of how things affect us. We must be cognizant of our words and the realities they create. Is what we say creating life or death for those who hear? After a quick personal assessment, we may need to make a few changes. If we’re going to speak words that create life for those who hear us, we must begin by surrounding ourselves with things that create life within ourselves.

To help you do that, here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself:

Is there anything inherently good or bad about it?
A great way fill your heart with goodness is by running toward what is good and away from what is bad. And while it’s true that the idea of “good” and “bad” may be a bit subjective, it’s an appropriate place to begin because there are some things that automatically scream good or bad. Not everything is a gray area. For instance: Scripture = Good. Porn Site = Bad. See? Not so hard!

How do I feel after experiencing it?
This particular question is a little tricky because our emotions are so fickle. But there is definitely value in assessing how we feel about what we do and whom we meet. I know from personal experience that I can’t watch the news during election years because political commentary makes me want to punch someone in the head. In the same way, if the movies you watch, music you listen to, books you read or people you surround yourself with make you feel angst-ridden or fearful, you may want to consider spending yourself somewhere else.

Am I gaining more clarity or more confusion?
It’s good to have your worldview shaken up every once in a while. But a good dose of truth should begin to peel away the layers of false reality, not add more. If the things you do and people you interact with are making you less and less confident of what you think and believe, look for people and experiences to that help you understand who you are (and whose you are).

Am I changing because of what I do and who I know?
Stagnation is one of the worst things possible. Try to engage the things that evoke positive change in you. We need to look at art that inspires us and watch movies that make us want to be better people. We need people in our lives who speak truth and encouragement. Neutral goes nowhere, so make sure that what you experience does something to you, drawing you closer and closer to faith, hope and love.

Author: Nathan Key I think its always good to receive times and opprotunites of personal reflection and evaluation toward the direction my life is headed and who and/or what I convey to others---To ask introspective questions of myself and try and seek the reality and truth of who I am ugly, dirty scarred or otherwise. It only brings to light reality versus the fantasy we all like to live in…I myself included. Thank God for forgiveness and his Son. What I put in comes out…hmm…not new…not a profound revolutionary statement. So why do I succumb to the compromised thinking, “aw its no big deal, I’ve been good…been strong”? Its our pride that tells us that. I don’t need to lean on my Savior, I’m solid. That for me often seems to be the first step to the settling to not paying attention to what I put in. Before long, if not in a few hours, days, months or years, if it continues, the ugly I put in will spew forth raring its ugly head and I’ll find myself in a bad spot, asking for forgiveness or caloused and hardened by the seeping of dirt I’ve allowed. There is a great verse in Song of Solomon that says, “Catch for us the foxes, the foxes that ruin the vineyard”. Watch the little things as they can destroy the “vineyard” or you before you know it. I think it parallels the idea of what you put in comes out. If you don’t care or watch what you put in then grab your helmets because whats coming out is gonna be a beast sooner or later. Be on your guard. Not only do our words reflect our heart but our King who many may not ever meet(aside from your witness) but possibly hear…hear in our words…hopefully words of grace, truth and love. Phil 4:8 “Finally brothers(and sisters) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” Until Dukey Drops Again....Much Love.....

Caught up...

So recently I've come to the conclusion that when some one asks me what I do with my time off away from work, you know, free time, well my answer is now going to be I KILL MICE! I end their not so sweet little not so harmless rodent poop dropping, trap dodging, poison eating, t-shirt eating, disease carrying little lives. I know its a little violet sounding but fun time with Luke is over. This is war. Well at least around my place. They have officially crossed the line in the last few days as I went to grab one of my favorite t-shirts out of my drawer and there was a hole large enough for a large hamster to have waddled through. Not to mention the bits of D-Con poison and mouse tirds dropped next to the shirt. Obviously the mouse or perhaps mice, judging by the ample scattering of poo, had a good time wrestling in the poison tray and had their fill and decided to go on adventure and find some good material for a nice winter bed. It appears they found my softest shirt and got to gnawing.
I amazed at the entertainment value this mouse community has brought me. Seriously. The first night I put out traps it was as if they were blind to the traps. They were going off 10min after I reset them. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and found all the traps had been set off. I thought if there is such activity I should set them again. 10min later SNAP! Clank Clank Clank Clank...I thought someone was having
spasms but it continued. So I figured I'd get up and check. I walk in the the bathroom and the mouse trap was racing across the floor chasing a mouse...now thats a mouse trap! After looking closer the mouse had ALMOST dodged death and his tail was caught in the trap! The mouse followed by the trap bolted for the hole in which he entered. The mouse disappeared but the trap was not so cooperative. It was too heavy for the mouse to pull in the hole so it assuredly left the mouse dangling for his life on the other side of the sheet rock. I was laughing hard at the sight, what the mouse was likely thinking and at his misfortune. I grabbed the trap and ended his struggle for him. He must have been wearing a helmet like this mouse pictured but got lazy and got his tail.
The mice have gradually gotten smarter because in the beginning just the scent of peanut butter would have them running and hurling themselves onto the traps. Not anymore. Too many of their community have not returned from what ended up being a journey of peril. So now they can clean the peanut butter off the trap and go back to the hole with a full belly. There is now an array of potential mice "killer". Its like a buffet that includes teal colored D-con(should be called D-can't) mouse poison, some grain sticks that are supposed to kill the mice...they seem to be getting FATTER and the JIF peanut butter that laces the traps. A delicious menu if I don't say so myself.
So I had a few days off this last week and returned to my place expecting that I would find at least one mouse. I was correct. There was one but there were only 3 traps...there were 4 when I left.
I began scan the bathroom around the toilet where the hole is...1...2...3...where is the 4th? I must be hallucinating. Again 1...2...3...no 4th trap. I check one other place where I had once seen traces of mice. There it was laying upside down. I was sure it had a mouse in it if it was carried that far. I picked up the trap...and...no mouse. HOW!? I glanced again...wait...there's not a mouse but remnants. There was mouse leg. Apparently a front leg. It appeared he had fought so hard for his life he severed his leg from his body. So now tri-pod is free but left me a souvenir. I was shocked! I did laugh too...and almost took a picture because I couldn't believe it. If I didn't have lazy cats like the one pictured here I wouldn't have such a problem. Stinkin' cats. Too well fed. They need THE HUNGER. The hunger for survival.

You know this tri-pod incident made me think of how we as humans often get ourselves caught in little seemingly harmless things like gossip, sexual temptation, gossip, lust, greed, gossip, anger, dishonesty, gossip, wasteful spending, jealousy, pornography, not praying, lying and one last one...umm...gossip, etc and we find ourselves caught in a trap scrambling what appears to be for our lives. It ends up that we may escape with our "lives" but we've lost a "limb" as tri-pod did or a piece of our heart or maybe we lose the trust somone once had in us or vice a versa. I mean all we're doin' is nibblin on a little cheese or PB(gossip, lie, porn site, one bad movie, one beer too many, a super-sized meal at 1am, an extra $100 pair of jeans) and before we know SNAP...our little piece of the pie has got us trapped...trapped in debt, trapped with bad health, trapped with a dead spiritual life, trapped in a "little" lie thats not so little anymore, trapped with no one that will trust us anymore, trapped watching someone else get hurt because of our gossip, trapped in addiction to alcohol or porn, trapped with deep anger thats burning inside for years and now we're scarred...scarred in a way our life is impacted greatly. So please watch out for traps. Don't compromise. Listen to others especially those who have lived a few more years than you. Educate yourself of traps. Ask questions. Be aware so you don't fall victim. And finally if someone loves you enough to approach you and confront you about a trap they may see...have the grace and maturity to stop and honestly look around. Be objective. If its true and its not cost you something do whatever you can to stop. STOP! Its a funny picture but I know none of us would like to be like our friend tri-pod...well not my friend but maybe yours...and be scarred in a way that will remind us daily of a trap we should have looked for.
And if your friends, community and people you hang out with look like the last mouse picture here...everyone caught in a trap....Uh... TAKE NOTICE! Do you want to join them???
Don't get CAUGHT UP...

There's my thoughts for today...if you have any mouse wisdom I am all ears.

Until Dukey Drops Again.......Much Love......


***Oh yeah...Kill count...

3 rabbits(unintentional)

1 ground squirrel(unintentional)

18 mice & an arm(intentional)